‘Sir, we are offering you a personal loan, Are you interested?’
‘Yes, But sorry, I wouldn’t talk something ‘personal’ to strangers. So No, Thanks !’
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Don’t know why, Receiving personal loan marketing calls switches on the furious mode in me! GRRRR !I had been wondering for a long time on how to avoid getting such calls.Even though I never fill up that ‘lucky draw coupons’ found in shopping malls, nor unnecessarily provide my phone number to anyone, still somehow the phone number is in their ‘database’.
I used to save the numbers as ‘nuisance’ so that I don’t pick up their calls if they called again. But they never call from the same number. So I had to live with it.
That is when TRAI introduced DND. And I was like Salman Khan’s self-driven car that found a footpath. I pounced upon it and registered for DND.
‘And since then, as a miracle, I never got any marketing calls!’. Seriously, you believed it? Fooled ya!
I still get these marketing calls almost daily ! ALMOST DAILY. Initially, I started thinking, ‘Oh, these callers have a target to meet, they are just doing their job!’. Later I realized that they are not even doing their job. The initial part of their job is to check if the mobile number is registered in DND, but they do not do that. So I started raising complaints in Vodafone. I raised around 12 complaints for various marketing calls. The best thing about Vodafone is that each time I raised a complaint, they called me and assured that it will never happen again. Truly, Happy to Help !
Only after raising 12 complaints, I realized that nothing is going to happen and I will continue receiving marketing calls.(Ya, I am a slow learner). So the next act is to legally tackle the issue. As any normal Indian, I too am not 1. Aware of the process to follow to legally take it up, 2. DO not Have the time or patience to deal with this issue legally (mostly because I feel that I may feel getting these calls were better, (better than the worst!)).
So ya, I planned to make it a game. A fun game. Come up with all sorts of fun answers to these marketing call because..
1. Why be furious and stress myself
2. Fun answers require lots of creativity. Build your creativity.
3. Fun brings smile, reduces stress. Yaay !
So, here goes some of the template answers.
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Starters: on days with good mood
‘Sir, we are offering you a personal loan, Are you interested?’
‘Naa, I am very rich. I am already wondering what to do with all the money I have’
With all that imaginary money,How about buying that bank itself? 😉
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‘Sir, we are offering you a personal loan, Are you interested?’
‘Yes, But sorry, I wouldn’t talk something ‘personal’ to strangers. So No, Thanks !’
Also mama told me not to talk to strangers 😉
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Mediocre: Not so good day. Inspiration needs to be more
‘Sir, we are offering you a personal loan, Are you interested?’
‘Oh, you called at the right time.I have come to buy a villa by paying ready cash. The villa costs 80 lakhs and I have paid 7999999, but short of 1 rupee. Can you please quickly grant me a loan for 1 rupee’
Because each penny matters!
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‘Sir, we are offering you a personal loan, Are you interested?’
‘Definitely. You know what. I am planning to do a movie much bigger than Bahubali. The story is ready. Just need 2 things. The contact number of Rajamouli and 178 crores. So when can you send your representative to me…Hello ..Hello..’
Probably they hung up to search Rajamouli’s phone number. They may contact me again.
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My favourite. On most stressed days.
‘Sir, we are offering you a personal loan, Are you interested?’
‘Yes, definitely I was looking for one..Actually how fast can you approve a loan’
‘In 3-4 working days..’
‘Great, so what is todays date? Hmm…’
‘It’s 16th of December 2015..’
‘2015? Damn! You know what? I am in 2035. I came here in a time machine and now the time machine is damaged. So I cannot get back until it is repaired and I need money for that. So, can u do me a favour, can you please call me back after 20 years?’
Yeah..I’m waiting..but the only part disgusting is that I will be recieving these calls even 20 years from now..Whew !
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I am actually falling short of ideas because the number of marketing calls never seem to decrease.But then, that is also part of the fun.
So, this is how we have to face every stressful situation in life. Try to make fun games out of it ! Ho, I am waiting for marketing calls now a days! New call, new idea, more fun ! (On a true nore not so fun)..But yeah, trying doing this, truly brings out the creative person in you…
Why should I have all the fun? 😉
the wRite wAY 