I woke up this morning very stressed. I wondered whether life would be the same again, ever.
She had been a part of my life all through since I can remember. But from whatever happened last evening, I don’t know if Nikita will ever come to my life again. I don’t know whether I will ever be able to see her smile again; her smile that erases any problem in life. I don’t know whether I will ever be able to listen to her sweet words again; her words that built a positive energy around me inspiring and guiding me to live my life, positively. I don’t know whether life would ever be the same again; because Nikita had been a part of my life since the time I could remember.
———
———
My memories took me down the lane of my very normal life. It was almost noon, 3 weeks ago from today. I was sitting in my room, scrolling through Facebook. Hardly did I anticipate that this day would be one of the most important days of my life.
‘Big day, but checking facebook?’
I turned around. It was Nikita.
‘Hey, You!’
Nikita just smiled.
‘Do you want tea?’ Mom’s voice travelled from the kitchen to my room.
I looked at Nikita. She shook her head in denial.
’Yes, one cup please’, I screamed.
‘So, what are your plans today? Campus placement? Big day for you?’ Nikita asked as she smiled. Her smile was special. The day is already good for me.
‘Yeah, yet another campus placement, I don’t know why I don’t get through these interviews. I am not that bad to be rejected. Somehow I fail to express myself. This might be the last chance for me’.
‘Don’t be dejected’, said Nikita, ’I think I know why you are not making it in the campus placements’.
I looked at Nikita with a ‘really, what is the reason and what is the solution?’ kind of expression.
Suddenly the door opened. It was mom with tea.
‘Hey Ma’, I smiled. Nikita greeted her with a smile.
She stared at me for a moment that I was talking to Nikita. She was probably surprised seeing Nikita in my room. I felt quite embarrassed that Nikita was in my room. ‘The older generation never understand!’, I thought. But there is no use in explaining my friendship with Nikita. Even my friends don’t take it the right way. How can I convince Mom? There was a moment of silence in my room.
Mom broke the silence, ‘You have your campus placement interview today. I hope you have prepared well’.
‘There is nothing to prepare’, I said.
‘Then why don’t you get selected in any of the interviews? There is something that you need to prepare? Am I not right?’
‘We are preparing aunty, I have searched the internet for sample questions that the company had asked the previous year.’
I just remained quiet as I did not like discussing the topic of me getting rejected in every interview.
‘Hope you get through this time. You need to focus’, Mom said to me.
‘If it’s in my destiny, I’ll get it.’, I shot back.
Mom placed the tea on the table and was murmuring as she left the room.
I looked at Nikita. She just smiled.
‘How can you be so positive? You noticed, my Mom was indirectly complaining that your presence makes me lose focus. But you still smile!’, I was astonished and puzzled at Nikita.
‘There are things that are not in your hand. For everything else, be positive.’
‘I need to be like you’, I said.
‘Oh! That’s very difficult’, she said as both of us laughed.
As we had the tea that mom just brought, I asked her ‘So, you were telling me that you know the reason for me not getting through the interviews. What is it?’
‘Actually you yourself gave the reason to your mom’, she said.
‘What?’ I was confused. Nikita had this habit of telling half sentences, or giving signals which I never understood. ‘Can you please explain?’ I asked.
‘He he, kiddo, you just told your mom, ‘If it’s in my destiny, I’ll get it.’, Nikita mimicked me.
‘Please explain dear’. It was very clear that I was still confused.
Nikita nodded as though everything had to be explained in detail to me. ‘Dude, It is not in your destiny!’
‘What?!’ I was shocked.
‘Now what is there to be shocked about? Even you know that. You want to be a movie director. You write well. You have good people management skills. A software company was never in your destiny. You know that. That is why you don’t perform well in interviews. You yourself don’t want that job.’ I must say, Nikita sounded very confident about my abilities.
‘What are you blabbering? It’s true that I want to be a director. But I can do that after I get a job also’.
‘You know you want to dedicate whole of your time to your passion; and for your information, I am not blabbering. You’ll know that whatever I am telling is the truth. You can ask yourself to understand’, Nikita’s face was turning red.
‘Oh, don’t be angry dear. I believe in you. I know it is better to ask you that to ask to myself.’
‘No no, there’s no need to butter me now.’
‘No, not buttering you. You really guide me in the right way. Without you I would have been lost. I am really proud and lucky to have a great friend like you. But you have to tell me what to do now. Should I tell dad and mom that I don’t want to attend the interview? Just tell me how to tackle the situation.’
‘Hello mister, I am not Rancho from 3 idiots.’
‘But still you will have some idea in mind, you always have.’
‘Hmm, Let me think’, Nikita looked around as she thought, ‘I think it is better you don’t talk to your parents now. If you tell them now, they will suspect on this sudden outburst. So go and attend the interview. Tell them you did not get this one also and later convince them that you want to attend the Film Institute.’
‘Sounds great’, I said, ‘You are a true sweetheart. I don’t know what I would have done without you’,
I hugged Nikita. She hugged me back. There was a smile on my face.
Now it was time for me to get ready to college for the campus interview. I started getting ready.
———
College was around 20 minutes walk from home; Nikita and me used to walk together. But I was too lazy to walk today. Having given the excuse that I did not want to be too tired for the interview, I took my dad’s car, the Tata Bolt. While driving, I continued my discussion with Nikita.
‘You know, Lionel Messi is now the brand ambassador of Tata Motors..Isn’t it exciting’, I asked Nikita.
‘Ohh, Messi, that cute guy’
‘You girls! Do you just judge people based on cuteness quotient? Why aren’t you interested in sports?’
‘Nothing like that, Girls do follow sports..’
‘Okay, then tell me what is your opinion about the association of Tata Motors and Lionel Messi?’, I challenged her.
Nikita thought for a while, and suddenly changed the topic with brilliance, ‘Hey..Vini.. you want to propose to Vini, right?’
I looked at Nikita in awe. She knew that I had been noticing Vini for the past few days?
‘Dude, we are together almost all the time, I know all that you are up to.’
I gave her a sheepish grin.
‘So, don’t think, just propose’.
‘I’ve never…’, it wasn’t easy to express my concern, ‘The only feminine character I have ever interacted so freely with is you. And I never had to propose to you. So I am not sure how to..’
‘Mister Writer, come up with some cool lines, mug them up and go to her.’
‘Come, on, telling is not as easy as writing. You go to her and talk first. Understand her likes and dislikes; based on that I will think of something.’
‘Sorry dear. I am you best friend, not your enemy. If you are looking for a serious relationship, you have to interact with her directly. Go and talk to her. Understand her likes and dislikes yourself. You know why? because that itself is the part of building a relationship.’
I felt that Nikita made sense, again.
‘Just be confident. Just remember your own words, ‘If it is in your destiny, you will get it’.
‘But what if she is not my destiny?’, I frowned.
‘There are things that are not in your hand. For everything else, be positive’, Nikita smiled as she said that.
That smile! It filled me with positive energy and I was eager to go to Vini to express my love. I wished I could hug Nikita in the middle of the road for helping me with this issue as well. Who said a boy and girl could never remain friends? Look at us! Living examples. Both of us entered the college.
———
The campus placement interview was going on. As I had decided I wouldn’t go for the job even if I get it, I did not attend the interview. Let someone else get that chance. But a larger interview was awaiting me. Vini was sitting alone in the campus.
‘Go, talk to her’, Nikita urged from behind.
‘How do I start?’ I asked her.
‘Ask her why she is not attending the interview today’
‘That is because she already got placed last week’, I replied.
‘Ooh, so you already know everything about her.’
‘She is looking at me! She is smiling, she is coming towards us!’, I got an adrenalin rush as I saw Vini walking towards us.
Nikita suddenly turned back and started running, ‘I forgot something, catch you later. Good Luck!’ I understood that Nikita wanted to give us some privacy.
Vini reached where I stood. She definitely must have seen Nikita leaving. But she did not seem too bothered about that. May be she too needed some privacy.
Vini smiled at me and asked, ‘You are the blogger who writes ‘The write way’, right?’
‘Yes, I am’, Wow! She reads my blogs.
‘You write very well. I like your thoughts and the way you express them’.
‘Thanks!’ Well, I have to give half of this thanks to Nikita, she is the one who proof reads, corrects and provides other valuable inputs to my creations. But I don’t think I have to mention that here. Nikita wouldn’t mind either.
‘I am a regular follower of your blog. Not attending interview today, Or are you already placed?’, Vini asked.
‘Well, not placed in any software company. But trying to place my future in the right track by not attending the interview.’
‘Whoa! Great to see someone with an ambition and a passion to achieve it.’ Vini said.
‘Yeah, I want to become a screenplay writer and movie director’
‘Wow, interesting. And what are you doing in an Engineering college?’
‘Well, I realized it late. Better late than never. Anyhow I don’t find these times here a waste of time.If I hadn’t come here, I wouldn’t have met you.’
‘Sorry??’, Vini was shocked.
‘Ohh!! Sorry, sorry, words just came out of my mouth.’
‘Really! For an aspiring screenplay writer, I don’t think that is a good habit’.
‘If it was a character I created in my story, I would have made him say the right words at the right time. But unfortunately, I am just me.’
‘Ha ha, interesting..So what would that ‘character’ tell me at this moment?’
‘He would probably talk about interesting topics and before completing, bring an abrupt end to the conversation’.
‘Why?’
‘Reasons best known to the character’, I replied.
‘Come on, tell me why!’
My phone just beeped. Wow, great timing! I took my phone and checked it. It was a message from the bank asking whether I needed personal loan. For the first time this message seemed been useful.
‘Sorry Vini, This is something urgent. I need to go’, I told Vini.
‘So, when will you tell me? When can we talk?’ Vini asked.
‘Let’s meet at the canteen tomorrow’, I said as I abruptly ended the conversation, waved at her and walked away. She nodded.
Hope she got the answer why the character I created would abruptly end the conversation. It was just a way to generate suspense to get another chance for a detailed conversation. Tomorrow. Canteen. Next meeting fixed.
———
‘So all happy happy?’ Nikita asked.
‘Yea, it went well. But from the way I talked, she might have understood that I am hitting on her.’
‘And still she did not avoid you. Things looks positive’.
‘Yes, I was thinking the same. Again, you made it happen.’
‘Dude, try to appreciate yourself instead of appreciating me’, Nikita never liked complements. Weird girl!
———
3 Weeks passed by. I proposed to Vini and she said Yes. I thought I was the happiest person in the world that day. But Nikita was happier for me. That afternoon we were at a shopping mall. I was overwhelmed.
‘You should have seen the smile on her face when I proposed to her’, I said to Nikita.
‘Hmm, wish I was there.’, sighed Nikita.
‘You should have seen the smile on Vini’s face, it was beautiful!’ I was all smiles.
‘That must have been a moment worth to be captured. But I am sure you would have captured it in your mind. And can see it whenever you wish to.’
‘Yes, that I can!’ I smiled. ‘And you know what Nikita, I can also see your smile, whenever I want. That gives me a positive energy.’
But then suddenly it occurred to me that something was not right. How would Vini take my relationship with Nikita. We had never discussed about her. And from what I understand, Vini is quite possessive in her relationships. Understanding that, Would Nikita just go away from my life. My thoughts took me to a complicated world. Oh! I never wanted to reach here. I do not want to miss them both. I was in the greatest dilemma of my life. And only 1 person could help me tackle this world. Nikita!
‘I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this’, Nikita’s voice echoed in my head. I was shaken awake from that complicated world to reality.
‘Come here’, Nikita said and guided me to a mirror on one of the walls in the shop. ‘Now look into the mirror’, she said.
I stared at the mirror.
‘I don’t know how many times I have to do this exercise with you’, Nikita said, ‘What do you see in the mirror?’she asked.
‘I can see myself’, I said.
‘Do you see me?’ She asked.
‘No’.
I looked carefully into the mirror. No. Nikita was not visible in the mirror. Where was she?
‘Where are you?’ I asked.
‘Hello mister Writer!’ Nikita did not complete her sentence.
I looked confused.
‘I have always tried to help you, guide you. But if you feel my existence is a threat for your relationship with Vini, I will never come again. If you feel that I am a threat for your future, I will never come again. If you feel that my existence is a challenge for your forward life, that is the best decision I can take.’ Saying so, Nikita walked away.
I stood there indifferent for a moment and then went home. I did not have dinner that night. I lay on my bed motionless. There was someone trying to solve a rubik’s cube inside my head. Did Nikita just walk away from my life? She was my best friend. My guide. The one who inspired me. But I have realized that Nikita was not another person. She was a part of myself. She is me myself. My subconscious.
My thoughts were unable to find way from within a labyrinth of emotions as sleep embraced me…
———
———
I woke up this morning very stressed. I wondered whether life would be the same again, ever.
She had been a part of my life all through since I can remember. But from whatever happened last evening, I don’t know if Nikita will ever come to my life again. I don’t know whether I will ever be able to see her smile again; her smile that erases any problem in life. I don’t know whether I will ever be able to listen to her sweet words again; her words that built a positive energy around me inspiring and guiding me to live my life, positively. I don’t know whether life would ever be the same again; because Nikita had been a part of my life since the time I could remember.
My phone beeped. It was a message from Vini. ‘Good Morning, dear. What plans today?’
I was happy to see the message from Vini. But normally everyday it was Nikita who wished me first.
I felt some emptiness from within. Would I never see Nikita again in my life?
‘Good Morning, no plans as such’, I replied to Vini.
‘Who said you don’t have any plans today?’
I looked up. ‘Nikita!’, I was overwhelmed.
‘You have to talk to mom and dad today about your desire to join the Film Institute. The classes will begin soon. You have to apply in colleges’.
‘Oh yea, I had forgotten about that. But how will they react? Will they agree to pursue my dream?’
‘There are things that are not in your hand. For everything else, be positive’, Nikita smiled.
I paused for a moment and then said to Nikita, ‘Nikita…I thought.
‘I know, You always think that I will leave and will never come back. Come on! I will never leave’, Nikita smiled as she said.
Yes, that smile inspired me to be happy for another day. To chase my dreams. To inspire myself.. And To live my life…!
‘But there is this one question in my mind which has been lingering on for some time now and you never helped me with it’, I said.
Nikita looked at me confused.
‘What is your opinion about the association of Tata Motors and Lionel Messi? You never answered the other day..’.. I started laughing out loud. Nikita joined..Ya, I am a bit crazy, But I do enjoy that craziness..
Truly am #madeofgreat ! Right?
Nikita escaped from answering this question. So I need help from you guys. What do you guys think about the association of two titans, Tata Motors and Lionel Messi? Comment below and stand a chance to win gift vouchers from Amazon. Last date for answering is 26th November 2015. So, Hurry!
the wRite wAY 